If you had asked me when I was a child what I wanted to be when I was older, I wouldn’t have known what to respond with. If you had asked me when I was a teenager, I wouldn’t have known. If you ask me now, I still don’t know.
I feel as though most of the blogs that I go on have something to do with going back to university, whether it be tips for Freshers, organisation hacks or studying techniques and since I am 20 years old and haven’t been to university, nor am I deferring a place, I sometimes feel a bit left out.
I absolutely adore education; I love learning and studying and filling my brain with the intricate details about how the world works, so why aren’t I at university?
I’ll let you into a little secret: I actually applied for medicine when I was 18. I went to two interviews (despite receiving invitations to three) and had three rejections before I pulled out and decided to have a gap year. I got a job and had every intention of going to university the following year, but I felt so worn down by sixth form that I simply wanted a break from education so ended up not applying for university again.
I absolutely detested my time at sixth form. The school itself wasn’t a bad school it just really wasn’t what I was after and as a result, I ended up hating my time there which I feel impacted my results negatively and meant that I was unable to have the best sixth form experience possible.
I had been very unsure about making the decision to have a gap year as education was my life but I decided that, ultimately, it was the best decision for me.
As it stands, my friends are now entering their third year of university and pretty soon, they will be graduating with a degree and getting the jobs that they love (I think I’ll be deactivating my personal Facebook in May/June when that happens!).
While I love science, writing and learning, I don’t know what degree I would want, if any. Most of the time I console myself by thinking about how lucky I am that I don’t have a £30,000 debt and an unused degree, but sometimes it doesn’t feel enough.
The job I am in isn’t where I see my future but the truth is, I don’t know in which job I do see my future. I want to be able to provide a decent life for my family and not constantly worry about money, which I doubt will happen in my current job even if I progress up the career ladder.
Being honest, I have to say that that makes me want to find a degree I like so I can get a job I enjoy to provide a good life for my family. However, at the same time, saving for a mortgage and seeing my pregnant sister start her family make me want to settle down now. Can I really put that on hold to go to university? Can I afford not to?
99% of the time I am strong enough to realise that it was right of me to avoid following the norm and going to university when that wouldn’t have been right for me but the fact that I don’t know where my path leads – if anywhere – does make me question whether it was the best decision at times. I used to have my life planned out for me on a map – high school, sixth form, university, job, husband, child – but now that that has been completely demolished, there are times when I feel completely at a loss of what to do next. I have time on my side – after all I’m only 20 years old – but I have already been in my job for three years now and if I don’t do something to change it, pretty soon I will be celebrating my five year anniversary, and then my ten year anniversary and then my twenty year anniversary with the same company.
So what about you? Did you go to university? Do you use your degree or did you never need one?
– Taisie ♥